Love yourself
The most difficult, confusing and interesting relationship in life is the relationship with yourself.
All these years, I have succeeded in putting the interests of others ahead of my own, and sometimes forgetting about myself altogether. Naturally, later it made me unhappy, did not think well of myself, did not appreciate and respect myself, as a result - did not love myself.
I didn't know how to love myself. After each such incident, I would get up again, shake myself off, and tell myself that I had learned my lesson, that I would begin to love myself. It didn't work right away, at some points I was faced with a choice and fell back into the puddle. Through several years of work on myself, reading the right literature, watching appropriate videos and of course my own and invaluable experience, I, who was not confident, did not love myself, did not appreciate myself, sometimes hated myself, finally experienced the feeling of self-love. It was definitely a growth.
The point is that when you love yourself, you stop putting up with things that are not good for you. That alone changes your life.
There are two paths before a person. One leads to the old, familiar model of life. The other carries the unknown. Magic awaits you in the unknown. Asking the right question is the most powerful tool.
★ The moment I'm about to repeat an old pattern, to make a familiar mistake, I pause, take a deep breath, let the light in, and ask myself: "If I loved myself sincerely and deeply, what would I do?" Sometimes it can go something like, "If I loved myself truly, with all my heart, wanting only the best for myself, believing that I deserved a magical life, would I do it?" Next, the choice is up to me. These are the moments that define my life. My destiny. I begin to consciously and sincerely think about myself. And in these moments, more often than not, I choose to love myself. I choose myself and my own path.
Every such moment is an opportunity to accomplish something important. No matter where you are no matter how good or bad things may seem, the current moment is the perfect moment to take your stand. To say "never again" to the things that are not good for you, and to put everything into things that serve your good, happiness, and development.
It's really simple. I've used this approach to change my health, my fitness, my finances, my relationships. And, of course, I continue to love myself. I do it over and over again.
★ I found that instead of reacting to situations, I could choose what I wanted to be. This approach, in turn, favored creating better situations and, ultimately, a much better life. And all these situations where I'm told what they think my hair should look like, my body, whether I'm thin or not, how I should act, who I should look like. It's my choice of reaction. Letting go of who I think I should be. And who others think I should be."
★ During my journey of self-love, I realized that I needed to free myself from the shackles of the past. I said to myself, "Dinara, stop carrying the weight of the past." You forgive anything and everything, but you also have to forgive yourself. It took me a while to realize that. But once you realize that, you find yourself on a whole other level of self-love. It sets you free. I can't erase the past, only learn from it. It's okay to do that. Applying what I know makes the present and the future a beautiful place.
When I began to love myself, I realized that because of the stiffness, the fear of how much I had limited myself in the past. As a Roman poet wrote: "I am human, and nothing human is alien to me. I believe this to be true.
★ Whenever I notice fear in my mind, instead of panicking and getting lost, I say to myself, "It's okay. A soft "yes" to myself. And to the moment. This is often enough to make the fear recede. After that, I move on to the thought of loving myself. Negative thoughts do no good. So in moments when I notice I'm thinking negatively or fear is overwhelming me, I just switch my mind to the good and positive. Like a switch. It works. I try to abstract away negative thoughts and people.
★ Whatever childlike strings you find in yourself, embrace them first. They are part of your personal story. They made you the amazingly beautiful person you are. Try to love that vulnerable part of yourself.
Personal growth is important to me. If I don't feel like I'm growing, I start to drift and end up getting discouraged. When I fell in love with myself, I realized that real growth comes through stressful, difficult and overwhelming situations.
Love yourself is to respect and appreciate yourself, to believe in yourself, not to bring yourself, to earn, to develop, to be able to take care of yourself, to know your desires clearly.
For me, loving myself was the hardest thing. Especially if you are bogged down in misery. If you are hurting, lonely, insurmountably hurt, say to yourself, "Life loves me. For when you love yourself, you shine."
"I'm finishing up a workout. It's early morning, about 6 a.m. I love myself. I appreciate myself. I respect myself. My thoughts flow as smoothly and naturally as the sweat from my neck. I smile broadly, untangling my long hair, which is already silvered in places. My hopes, my dreams, my desires, my flaws, my virtues, are all me. I love. Myself."
P.S. Recommended to read the book by Kamal Ravikant "Love Yourself Like Your Life Depends on It."
